Rumsfeld's free-speaking verse
- a collection of Rumsfeld poems
from Slate eZine
Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld speaks at a town hall meeting at Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Base. He is explaining why the allies needed to attack Iraq.
Donald Rumsfeld is an accomplished man. Not only is he
guiding the war in Iraq, he has been a pilot, a congressman, an ambassador, a
businessman, and a civil servant. But few Americans know that he is also a
poet.
Until now, Rumsfeld's poetry has found only a small and skeptical
audience: the Pentagon press corps. Every day, Rumsfeld regales reporters with
his jazzy, impromptu riffs. Few of them seem to appreciate it.
But we should all be listening. Rumsfeld's poetry is paradoxical: It uses
playful language to address the most somber subjects: war, terrorism,
mortality.
And now Slate has compiled a collection of Rumsfeld's poems, bringing them to a
wider public for the first time. The poems that follow are the exact words of
the defense secretary, as taken from the official transcripts on the Defense Department
Web site.
The Unknown
As we know,
There are known knowns.
There are things we know we know.
We also know
There are known unknowns.
That is to say
We know there are some things
We do not know.
But there are also unknown unknowns,
The ones we don't know
We don't know.
—Feb. 12, 2002, Department of Defense news
briefing
Glass Box
You know, it's the old glass box at the—
At the gas station,
Where you're using those little things
Trying to pick up the prize,
And you can't find it.
It's—
And it's all these arms are going down in there,
And so you keep dropping it
And picking it up again and moving it,
But—
Some of you are probably too young to remember
those—
Those glass boxes,
But—
But they used to have them
At all the gas stations
When I was a kid.
—Dec. 6, 2001, Department of Defense news
briefing
A Confession
Once in a while,
I'm standing here, doing something.
And I think,
"What in the world am I doing here?"
It's a big surprise.
—May 16, 2001, interview with the New York Times
Happenings, you're going to be told lots of things.
You get told things every day that don't happen.
It doesn't seem to bother people, they don't—
It's printed in the press.
The world thinks all these things happen.
They never happened.
Everyone's so eager to get the story
Before in fact the story's there
That the world is constantly being fed
Things that haven't happened.
All I can tell you is,
It hasn't happened.
It's going to happen.
—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing
The Digital Revolution
Oh my goodness gracious,
What you can buy off the Internet
In terms of overhead photography!
A trained ape can know an awful lot
Of what is going on in this world,
Just by punching on his mouse
For a relatively modest cost!
—June 9, 2001, following European trip
The Situation
Things will not be necessarily continuous.
The fact that they are something other than
perfectly
continuous
Ought not to be characterized as a pause.
There will be some things that people will see.
There will be some things that people won't see.
And life goes on.
—Oct. 12, 2001, Department of Defense news
briefing
Clarity
I think what you'll find,
I think what you'll find is,
Whatever it is we do substantively,
There will be near-perfect clarity
As to what it is.
And it will be known,
And it will be known to the Congress,
And it will be known to you,
Probably before we decide it,
But it will be known.
—Feb. 28, 2003, Department of Defense briefing
9-27-03 | North Korea Calls Rumsfeld 'Psychopath'
Let us pray.
