KABUL INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, AFGHANISTAN (APA) - In truce talks held at the urging of archangel Michael and Gabriel, the United States, Israel, Palestine and the Taliban agreed Wednesday on a series of confidence-building measures aimed at ending years of constant bickering or face new strict measures from the Archangel community.

The four sides agreed to be nicer to each other from now on. Some question the sincerity of the agreements given the threat of more violence. Still others question if the Archangel community will make good on their threats of endless plagues and total annihialation if they don't start getting along. Archangel Michael was quoted as saying," The answer is simple, if these countries are going to act like children then they will have to be treated like children. They will have to go to their rooms, they are grounded for two years which means no overnights, no violent movies- only old Disney and Haley Mills movies - all television will be censored and all sides will have to watch Leave it to Beaver Re-runs until they get it."

Yet violence continued even as the leaders met, underscoring the fragility of a truce. Reduced to throwing rocks and screaming at each other after the US reduced the countries to rubble, there were numerous names called along with rocks thrown at a Pizzeria in Jeruselum. "We don't like Italian food" chanted the Palestinian mob as the the Israelis responded with their own chant, "Sticks and stones will break our bones, but insults will never hurt us." Archangel Gabriel chastised the Israelis for their overzelous response to the Palestinian chiding saying they had to come up with a better response than that, the world has heard that one before.

A major test of the truce will come Friday when Palestinians plan to mark the 100th anniversary of the fighting with marches across the West Bank and Gaza Strip. Traditionally, such marches have ended in confrontations with Israeli troops, who have recently received upgraded weaponry from the US in the form of slingshots and new insults. "Your Mother has a beard" and "Your ancestors worshipped pigs" are just two of the new insults hurled by Isreali troops at the Palestinian rock throwers. Wednesday's skirmish at Kabul International Airport lasted nearly two-and-a-half hours and ended only when both sides exhausted their rock supplies and everyone became hoarse from yelling insults.

The United States hopes to calm the Mideast conflict, which threatens to get in the way of coalition-building efforts for the United State's bigger war with the rest of the world. President Bush has vowed to severely punish the enemy as soon as he finds out who that enemy is.

Archangel Gabriel has been sentenced/ I mean placed in charge of the peace arbitrations by his superiors and has been given wide spiritual privelages in dealing with the immature and the unreasonable. Brandishing his new privelages Gabriel said, "Wait until they see what punishments I have in store for the unruly little monsters. Lets see what they do when they go to bed without dinner," to which reporters reminded him that many of those involved are already doing that," Well then we will turn off their TVs", " to which reporters reminded him that many of those involved have no TVs, "Well something will be done to discipline these, these,,,, I just can't say it. Archangels are not allowed to talk that way."

"BEHAVE and GROW UP or else" was their strict advice. The Archangels let it be known that they were obviously pissed off as they left the area for the Shambala clouds over the Himalayas.

In a statement issued by the frightened leaders they pledged to resume security coordination and exert maximum efforts to enforce a cease-fire, based on the terms negotiated by Tenet three months ago. At that time, the cease-fire didn't take hold, and nobody knows who threw the first rock but we can only hope this time will work.