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The Exorcism of George Bush
By Michael Tivana

a short play for stage or street theater

PROPS

2-3 people

large brown paper bag or gunny sack

Whistle

bullhorn

big cook pot and wooden spoon

bible

cross or white collar

black shirt

play money

flowers

(The Exorcist is dressed in black and has a cross around his neck - Bush is dressed up with a bag or gunny sack over his head and sitting in a chair center stage)

Exorcist - Ladies and Gentlemen, may I have your attention please. Come gather round and witness the saving of the world.

Earlier this week we found a madman, a criminal, a real nut case, wandering the halls of the White House. We captured this demon ridden psychopath and have brought him here today so we might save the world from annihilation; ladies and gentleman I give you George W Bush. (the bag comes off Bush and he is exposed)

Exorcist - (George is agitated and gruffs like a demon) Relax George, let's make this as painless as possible. (the exorcist turns to audience) Ladies and Gentlemen, I will now exorcise the president of the United States.

(He walks around Bush who is sitting in a chair, thrusting the Bible in his face, jabbing it at him then pulling it back while saying,) "I know you are in there demons, come out, come out wherever you are. (and suddenly the exorcist yells BOO! - nothing happens) I know you are in there, Karl Rove, COME OUT Karl Rove the brains of Bush, in the name of Jesus Christ leave this brain alone!

Bush - (Growling, goes in and out of indistinguishable words to Rove talk) growl, grumble, aaagh, I will get that Wilson and this wife, I must destroy them, get Plame, get Wilson….

Exorcist - (pulls out a bullhorn and points it at Bush) Now for the second demon. I know you're in there Dick Cheney, come out, in the name of the GOOD God come out and be off with you. Cheney, the Bush puppet master, cut the puppet's strings and be gone!

Bush - (Bush begins to speak growling like the first demon then turns to Cheney talk) growl, grumble, aaagh, attack, attack the mongrels, we must attack before they attack us! We have to fear the unknown - the Bogeyman is out there and we must fear him, BUT we must still shop, (he slowly trails off) we have to take the kids to Disneyland. (he is muttering) Cut taxes for the rich, raise taxes for the poor….

Exorcist - now for the last demon (he pulls out a big pot and puts it over Bush's head then begins banging on it.) (he bangs on the top, he bangs on the side) Condeleeza Rice, we are gonna stew you, come out, steam away, be gone!

Bush - (Bush is obviously upset over the heavy sound of the pot banging on his head, Bush begins to scream inside the pot)

Exorcist - ( pulls the pot off his head) the demons are coming out, (turns to the audience) encourage Bush to release his demons. (The audience shouts words of encouragement)

Bush - (he agonizes through the transformation) arrgh, ugggh, spisssh eouuuu (then in a nice calm voice) I think we can give money to the poor (then the demons speak) No not that, we must tax the poor and give money to the rich, (back and forth he goes)

ugggh, spisssh eouuuu, we could get out of Iraq, ugggh, spisssh eouuuu, no we must stay the course, attack the evil doers, we can support social security, ugggh, spisssh eouuuu, no that makes for weak people, no welfare strong people, we have to make love not war, gotta go see Jeff Gannon, I have a man date -- gotta go, gotta make love not war (Bush begins walking around the crowd handing out flowers and money) we can make love not war, LOVE, PEACE, we can give money to the poor, we can do good.

Exorcist - (follows Bush commenting) See the light Bush? Demons all gone. Haleleujah brothers and sisters, witness the HEALING, witness the new man. Here George, have some holy water. (He sprays Bush with anointed holy water, follows Bush) It's a miracle! Ha le leu jah, amen, give me an amen.

Bush - Amen brother. (He continues to walk around the crowd handing out money and flowers while saying:) We must get rid of the tax cuts for the rich (crowd cheers) and we must end the Clear Skies Act (crowd cheers) and we must move forward in a positive vibration and MAKE LOVE - NOT WAR --- Jeff, has anyone seen Jeff, my male escort? I have a man date.

Exorcist - George Bush is healed, no more demons, make love, not war. Now brothers and sisters --- I give you the exorcised president of the United States, let me hear you shout Haleleujah! Amen!

Man - (Man dressed as a police officer walks onto the stage with the bullhorn) OK people nothing to see here, move along, keep moving along, continue shopping … thank you, move along, nothing to see here….

The End